September 26, 2011
Fooled on April Fool’s Day…
Now back to April. Friday, April 1st 2011 to be exact. It was the night of my friend’s birthday party and I was excited about it. I had just come from what would be the last booty call with Grant and was feeling a wide assortment of emotions relating to him.
Little did I know that from that day on until almost exactly 3 months later would be filled with a new guy, manipulation, guilt trips, pressure, pity parties, and creepy near stalking good times…
So, now on with the story…!
His name is Shane* and he is a friend of the birthday girl. I had met him a couple of times previously but didn’t really know him prior to the night of April Fools. On one previous occasion I had gotten the creeps from him yet had no explanation for why I felt that way. Something about him just wasn’t sitting well with me and (as will be shown later on – a feeling I brushed off). However, hindsight is always 20/20.
That night to flirt with him (a lot). I’m not sure whether it was the two jello shooters I had (never having been drunk in my life let alone drank alcohol) or if it was really the always sober me who liked him.
Basically I asked him out and we visited and flirted until 4AM that Saturday morning. We had the same views on life, spirituality, and education as well as countless other things. Shane seemed like my ideal man except that the idea of kissing him grossed me out.
A day or two before the day of our date, I was freaking out. I realized that I didn’t actually like Shane all that much and didn’t want to go on our date at all. As we had already rescheduled once I thought it’d be rude to cancel (in hindsight that would have been the better thing to do) but instead I went anyways.
Shane and I met for Sushi and then the plan was for us to go watch a movie (atleast I thought that’s what the plan was) but instead we ended up going back to his place to watch a movie. I was flirting with Shane yet still texting Grant. While in Shane’s bathroom I was texting Grant trying to arrange a booty call (remember this was in April before I ditched Grant in May..) so that I had a reason to leave Shane’s house. Needless to say the booty call plan was a dud and I ended up semi-cuddling with Shane on his couch.
I feared that Shane would try to make a move on me and therefore pretended to fall asleep. The plan worked so well though that I did end up dozing off while also trying to pretend to be paying attention to the movie.
I twitch and get itchy and fidgety while I’m falling asleep. I was very sleepy and fidgety. Shane got kicked a few times as my muscles spasmed and I apologized profusely as I didn’t mean to hurt him. Shane offered me his bed to stay the night and said he’d stay on his couch. I refused saying I should go home.
As soon as I awoke the next morning I realized that I couldn’t lie to Shane and lead him on any further. Easier said than done, atleast for me… I went on a total of what I would have considered about 3 dates (although we had never kissed, let alone hugged). When Shane asked me to be honest with him about a month later I told him I only wanted to be friends and that I couldn’t see it going anywhere with him. He said he felt the chemistry between us and couldn’t shake the idea that we were meant to be together.
I got freaked out by that and yet still agreed that I would give it time to see if maybe (yes his words – was just too afraid to be in a relationship). A few days passed (by this time it was near May) and I was still certain I did not want to date him. Shane tried and was rejected 4 times by me and still did not get the hint.
It was not until early June that Shane’s manipulation was clearly evident to me. I have a guy friend, Tripp* who had come to visit me from Vancouver (more about him in my next post) of whom Shane was jealous. Shane knew I would be spending my time with Tripp while he was here, thereby taking away any time that could have been spent with him.
Two days before Tripp was due to go back home to Vancouver, Shane sent me a text message directed to Tripp saying, “Dear *Zee’s* friend, I’m glad you came to Alberta to visit her, I know it made her happy. But it’s time to go home, I want her back now. See you next year!” I was very pissed off and showed the text to Tripp who was equally ticked off.
I decided right then to put Shane on “probation”. I had told Shane that I needed space and for me to get that space he was not to text me, call, email or Facebook me for two straight weeks. Why two weeks? Well that was just an arbitrary time frame in which I was hoping Shane would move on from me and his desire would wither and fade away.
For the next two weeks I was surprised that Shane respected my request. Once the two weeks was up however, he immediately started inundating me with communication saying that he did it, he had managed to adhere to my request and was so glad the two weeks was up. For some reason I then agreed to see him in person, and when I did I had to once again state that I was not interested in dating him.
Shortly after, one day Shane went a little berserk and kidnapped my friend (the birthday girl) for a few hours to rant about me and how we were meant to be together. She was not impressed by his behaviour and tried to talk some sense into him (it didn’t work).
Shane also went on a random road trip to a town in British Columbia 4 hours away to coincidentally find a four-leaf-clover which he stated in his love letter to me (was one of the signs that we were meant to be together).
As a result of all the supposed stress my rejection was causing him, Shane took a leave of absence from his place of employment and then subsequently quit his job. He told me on the phone that it was not to get me to pity him… I could see through his manipulation and could see that if he wasn’t trying to manipulate me, he wouldn’t have mentioned the leaving of his job at all.
Shane did not have any close friends of which he could complain to about me or confide in besides our one mutual friend (the birthday girl). Due to her getting fed up with hearing about me, he then tried to ‘befriend’ another of MY friends in order to get them on his side.
Shane even had the nerve to lie to me about our mutual friend and tried to pit us against eachother. Luckily I saw through it, but not before I phoned her very mad asking her why she would lie to my face and then say other things to Shane. We soon figured out that he was trying to pit us, one against the other.
On July 3rd, 2011, I had the final rejection phone call with Shane in which I told him I wouldn’t be able to be friends with him anymore or see him.
I have since both deleted and blocked him from my Facebook, removed his number from my phone, and will not speak to him.
Zee
*not his real name.
