October 3, 2011
Feast or Famine… I suppose it’s FEAST…
Okay, so I know I still need to update my blog about the last 5 guys (out of 7)…but I needed to take a moment to express my frustration…..
WHY is it that I either have feast or feast in regards to guys…? I mean yes, it’s exactly what I’ve wanted and I put the energy out there to attract guys, but there’s always so many at once! It’s like there’s a lull or half-a-famine, and then BOOM! guys galore..!
At the moment I have 5 guys pursuing me… Only one of which is from a few months ago (I’ll have to update about him as well..) the other 4 are current.
Oh boy…(pun intended)
I hope that some of these guys are okay with me seeing other guys… I do tend to see more than one guy at once…
Although if I am frustrated already, I guess that’s not working so well for me, is it…?
Zee
September 26, 2011
Fooled on April Fool’s Day…
Now back to April. Friday, April 1st 2011 to be exact. It was the night of my friend’s birthday party and I was excited about it. I had just come from what would be the last booty call with Grant and was feeling a wide assortment of emotions relating to him.
Little did I know that from that day on until almost exactly 3 months later would be filled with a new guy, manipulation, guilt trips, pressure, pity parties, and creepy near stalking good times…
So, now on with the story…!
His name is Shane* and he is a friend of the birthday girl. I had met him a couple of times previously but didn’t really know him prior to the night of April Fools. On one previous occasion I had gotten the creeps from him yet had no explanation for why I felt that way. Something about him just wasn’t sitting well with me and (as will be shown later on – a feeling I brushed off). However, hindsight is always 20/20.
That night to flirt with him (a lot). I’m not sure whether it was the two jello shooters I had (never having been drunk in my life let alone drank alcohol) or if it was really the always sober me who liked him.
Basically I asked him out and we visited and flirted until 4AM that Saturday morning. We had the same views on life, spirituality, and education as well as countless other things. Shane seemed like my ideal man except that the idea of kissing him grossed me out.
A day or two before the day of our date, I was freaking out. I realized that I didn’t actually like Shane all that much and didn’t want to go on our date at all. As we had already rescheduled once I thought it’d be rude to cancel (in hindsight that would have been the better thing to do) but instead I went anyways.
Shane and I met for Sushi and then the plan was for us to go watch a movie (atleast I thought that’s what the plan was) but instead we ended up going back to his place to watch a movie. I was flirting with Shane yet still texting Grant. While in Shane’s bathroom I was texting Grant trying to arrange a booty call (remember this was in April before I ditched Grant in May..) so that I had a reason to leave Shane’s house. Needless to say the booty call plan was a dud and I ended up semi-cuddling with Shane on his couch.
I feared that Shane would try to make a move on me and therefore pretended to fall asleep. The plan worked so well though that I did end up dozing off while also trying to pretend to be paying attention to the movie.
I twitch and get itchy and fidgety while I’m falling asleep. I was very sleepy and fidgety. Shane got kicked a few times as my muscles spasmed and I apologized profusely as I didn’t mean to hurt him. Shane offered me his bed to stay the night and said he’d stay on his couch. I refused saying I should go home.
As soon as I awoke the next morning I realized that I couldn’t lie to Shane and lead him on any further. Easier said than done, atleast for me… I went on a total of what I would have considered about 3 dates (although we had never kissed, let alone hugged). When Shane asked me to be honest with him about a month later I told him I only wanted to be friends and that I couldn’t see it going anywhere with him. He said he felt the chemistry between us and couldn’t shake the idea that we were meant to be together.
I got freaked out by that and yet still agreed that I would give it time to see if maybe (yes his words – was just too afraid to be in a relationship). A few days passed (by this time it was near May) and I was still certain I did not want to date him. Shane tried and was rejected 4 times by me and still did not get the hint.
It was not until early June that Shane’s manipulation was clearly evident to me. I have a guy friend, Tripp* who had come to visit me from Vancouver (more about him in my next post) of whom Shane was jealous. Shane knew I would be spending my time with Tripp while he was here, thereby taking away any time that could have been spent with him.
Two days before Tripp was due to go back home to Vancouver, Shane sent me a text message directed to Tripp saying, “Dear *Zee’s* friend, I’m glad you came to Alberta to visit her, I know it made her happy. But it’s time to go home, I want her back now. See you next year!” I was very pissed off and showed the text to Tripp who was equally ticked off.
I decided right then to put Shane on “probation”. I had told Shane that I needed space and for me to get that space he was not to text me, call, email or Facebook me for two straight weeks. Why two weeks? Well that was just an arbitrary time frame in which I was hoping Shane would move on from me and his desire would wither and fade away.
For the next two weeks I was surprised that Shane respected my request. Once the two weeks was up however, he immediately started inundating me with communication saying that he did it, he had managed to adhere to my request and was so glad the two weeks was up. For some reason I then agreed to see him in person, and when I did I had to once again state that I was not interested in dating him.
Shortly after, one day Shane went a little berserk and kidnapped my friend (the birthday girl) for a few hours to rant about me and how we were meant to be together. She was not impressed by his behaviour and tried to talk some sense into him (it didn’t work).
Shane also went on a random road trip to a town in British Columbia 4 hours away to coincidentally find a four-leaf-clover which he stated in his love letter to me (was one of the signs that we were meant to be together).
As a result of all the supposed stress my rejection was causing him, Shane took a leave of absence from his place of employment and then subsequently quit his job. He told me on the phone that it was not to get me to pity him… I could see through his manipulation and could see that if he wasn’t trying to manipulate me, he wouldn’t have mentioned the leaving of his job at all.
Shane did not have any close friends of which he could complain to about me or confide in besides our one mutual friend (the birthday girl). Due to her getting fed up with hearing about me, he then tried to ‘befriend’ another of MY friends in order to get them on his side.
Shane even had the nerve to lie to me about our mutual friend and tried to pit us against eachother. Luckily I saw through it, but not before I phoned her very mad asking her why she would lie to my face and then say other things to Shane. We soon figured out that he was trying to pit us, one against the other.
On July 3rd, 2011, I had the final rejection phone call with Shane in which I told him I wouldn’t be able to be friends with him anymore or see him.
I have since both deleted and blocked him from my Facebook, removed his number from my phone, and will not speak to him.
Zee
*not his real name.
September 24, 2011
The Magical Disappearing Grant
The last post I wrote 5 months ago was in April in which I was slowly but surely realizing that Grant was using me for my body and not my mind. My last booty call with him took place on the 1st of April right before I went out to a friend’s for her birthday party. (More on that later).
By May I was absolutely positive that Grant had no interest in me whatsoever (yes, I get it…I’m a slow learner…) and I basically stated in nice terms for him to f*ck off.
However, before that online instant messaging conversation over MSN took place, I had tried to arrange a booty call more than once between April and May and each time Grant would blow me off or give some sort of excuse instead of just telling me he wasn’t interested. I had made sure to tell him what I expected and he never once lived up to those expectations.
The expectations were simple, call me, talk to me, AND see me in public. He wouldn’t do any of the above, and on that fateful day of the 7th of May I told him I wanted nothing to do with him. Out of saving face, he sent me one last text the next day on Sunday saying we’d hang out sometime, and then I never heard from him again.
As I still had not deleted him off of my Facebook (I only just deleted him a few weeks ago…I know, I know!) I learned that about three weeks after we stopped talking, he had started dating a single woman with a child.
Go figure, eh…?
Zee
5 months and 7 guys….
Wow, I really need to update my blog…. It’s been 5 months since I have updated and so so so much has happened. As my blog is mostly about relationships, love and players I have no shortage of things to write about.
The past 5 months have kept me busy and as I’m sure you can judge by the title of this post there has been no shortage of men either… However, I will make it clear that having 7 men involved in my life in some way does NOT mean that it’s all about sex, because it’s really not.
I guess I’ll have to update my blog with one post per guy, which means a total of 7 posts. I’ll write each post to update everyone about each guy who has appeared, disappeared (or both) in the past 5 months.
I hope you’re looking forward to getting the rundown on all that has happened in my life. I’ll try to give you all the nitty-gritty details. Although I can’t promise that sometimes they won’t be sad or pathetic… :S
Zee
April 3, 2011
Friday afternoon fun.. :S
Even though I had decided that I would no longer see Grant anymore, as I know that he is not interested in me beyond my body, I STILL initiated a booty call on March 31, Thursday night. As it turned out he didn’t end up coming over and I had went to bed and immediately fallen asleep.
I am not sure whether this was all the prompting Grant needed to text me on Friday (April 1) or whether he would have texted me anyways without the previous nights sexual texts. Grant was texting me while I was in the university library chatting with a guy I know, so I wasn’t responding to his texts. When I finally texted Grant back I told him that I got busy talking with a guy I know and was busy. He sent a few small talk texts and then invited me over to his place… Weird… I thought. I didn’t think that Grant would ever invite me over.
I decided that I would go over to Grant’s place for an hour before I had to pick up my son from daycare. I figured it was probably a booty call as Grant and I have long since forgone the talking and go straight to making out and fooling around instead.
I got to Grant’s house and he gave me a mini-tour (there was really not much to see in his tiny basement suite). Then we sat on his couch and talked a bit (I had a deja-vu then) and shortly after proceeded to his bedroom…
He kissed me first and we started making out. After a bit of making out I said, “So you invite me over for a booty-call huh?” And his reply was, “No, I just really thought it was time I invited you over.” Uh huh, I don’t believe that…. :S
We did fool around, no condom means no sex, so we didn’t have sex. I didn’t orgasm but he did. Of course, guys always get off… As I was putting my clothes on I said, “Thanks for the booty call, I have to go now.”
I had to leave and got ready to go. It was REALLY awkward leaving his place as he walked me to the door. As I left I said stupidly, “I should come over more often.” And he was like, OH? And then I tried to cover it up by saying, “I mean earlier, then there’s more time to like do other stuff..” It was awkward. He just said bye, there was no hug, no kiss, no nothing.
Onwards and upwards?? …. haha not quite
On Saturday I hadn’t heard from him at all (he works night shift and so was sleeping all day) so I waited until the evening and texted him. I said, “Hey, I feel like I was really awkward when I left your house yesterday :S ” He replied an hour later and said, “Haha no worries” then I texted back saying have a good shift at work that night and he replied saying he’d try. And then I texted back and never got any sort of reply.
I regret texting Grant on Saturday because I know that if I hadn’t texted him first I wouldn’t have heard from him at all.
I was having a rough go this morning and couldn’t wait until early evening to text Grant and invite him over to watch a movie tonight. Instead I started reading the book, He’s Just Not That Into You to confirm that I didn’t need to text him. In fact, even though I KNOW this, I am trying to bide my time trying not to drive myself crazy until and indeed IF (and that’s a BIG if) Grant will text.
I did however delete all his texts from the inbox on my cell phone so it makes it harder for me to text him. I actually have to physically input his phone number into my phone if I want to text him (okay, so it may not stop me – but I have to give up on him somehow..)
Zee
